Last night (and this morning) I watched all four episodes of the new documentary "No Dress Rehearsal" about the band Tragically Hip, a band I was a fan of but never really a devout fan. As I watched, I remembered more and more of the songs I knew and connected all over. This was easily the best music documentary I have seen, if not one of the best of all documentaries all around. What a journey and what an amazing band with integrity and talent. I forgot how many amazing songs they had and I was so glad I was able to see them live.
It also reminded me of my time when I was a musician and then a manager for bands, before I did comedy. So much energy is placed into the pursuit of music and the relationship you have with bandmates is so hard to explain and understand for those who never had it. I always used to say being in a band was like being in a marriage but with no (less) sex. And then, when I was no longer in bands and managing bands, it was like babysitting and being a therapist for that relationship. With comedy and all creative endeavors, there is also a lot of sacrifice. I missed, and now with comedy, Icontinue to miss so many outings, marriages, parties, birthdays. And sometimes there is regret and remorse. And Self-doubt. Did you make the right decision? With a band, you have some sense of companionship and community; as a stand up comedian, there is some of that but mostly, you are ultimately alone. Especially if you do not have a team. It reminded me of the opportunities I sought and created for my artists as a band manager and how I am missing those opportunities right now without a manager or representation. I need represenatation. My goal for 2024 was to get a manager and its looking like I won't have one again. Here's to finding one in 2025. #standupcomedy #documentary #formerlawyer #formermusician
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No. Just kidding. It is funny thought when people ask comedians (and musicians) when you are coming to their city and when you do, they don't show up for your show. It's ok if you never messaged us to come to your city but if you did, you should be there. I remember a comedian friend of mine being upset about this when she came through Chicago because people kept telling her she needs to come back, after she sold out her shows the year before. When she did, she decided she should get a bigger room to do the shows, since the sold out and so many people were telling her she needs to come back. Well, they didn't come to the show. Despite emails, social media updates, and even direct emails. The show did not sell out and well, that comedian has now quick comedy.
I didn't understand her frustration until recently when I had a handful of people tell me they wanted me to come to their city and not only did they not show up, but the messaged me after the show to say "Oh why didn't you tell me you were in town." I posted about it on all my socials, its on my calendar and even my monthly emails, if you subscribe. Anyways, hope you can make a show and if you have not already, please follow me on Instagram so you can see when I am in your town. I am going to have a Email sign up on there shortly as well. And bring 20 of your closest friends or enemies. LOL #standup #tour #careerchange #promotions I recently received a message from an "anonymous source" who said a comedian I worked with was problematic with women and that I should not work with the person. When I asked for details, they really did not have any. I asked the person if he had first hand knowledge of the problems, whatever they were and he said he did not. I asked around as well to see if anyone knew anything about this comedian and everyone had vague understandings ranging from extreme non-consensual contact to issues while in a consensual relationship.
As a trained lawyer, I am a big proponent of due process and having any accused given the opportunity to response to any allegations made. In some cases, that is difficult to do. This is especially true for victims in cases of rape, where women were villainized in the court systems and often blamed for unwanted contact. On the other hand, a lot of times in any community, there is a tendency to "pile on" on a person when he or she is being accused of wrong doing. As a lawyer, I have seen this play out countless times. Last year, I had a similar situation where a comedian tried to cancel me because of my ties to a "cancelled" comedian. I do think that it is great we have evolved as a society to collectively hold individuals who engage in bad behaviors accountable for their actions, especially after the "me too" movement. At the same time, we have to be careful not to rush to judgement and engage in critical thinking on our own and ask questions when someone tells us not to associate with someone else. And if someone did something wrong 20 years ago and is remorseful and learned from their actions, maybe they have done their time. I don't know the answers. I feel like the justice system is a good place to start. I believe in this particular situation, based on my own legal research, the anonymous tipper did not have his information correct and was simply trying to "pile on" a comedian who had experienced some success that perhaps he did not. #standup #comedy #cancelculture #bettercallpaul Recently I had to cancel a weekend headlining at one of my favorite clubs because I received an offer to open for a national touring comedian at sold out theaters. While the club is one of my favorites, its a smaller room where my fans and friends like to see me. The theaters are sold out and the pay is significantly more than the club. More importantly, the theater shows place me in front of thousands of people who don’t know me.
Nobody likes to cancel a show. I don’t have a manager or agent to help me navigate these tough decisions but I know last time I had a similar situation, I was afraid to cancel a weekend when offered a bigger opportunity so I didn't. I regretted it and missed out on other opportunities as a result. I have had to cancel a handful of times before with results that always went better than I expected. When the identical opportunity presented itself before and I was booked at a club, the owner was actually happy for me and excited for the opportunity I received. That owner pointed out how she was rooting for me and that if I gain followers, it will be that much easier to sell out when I return to that venue. Valid point. In this situation, I knew the club owner would be upset with me, but I figured since it was over two months away, he would have ample opportunity to re-schedule and limited promotions had started by the club and me. I even offered up other weekends I was open to re-schedule. He was livid. Not only that, he called me unprofessional and told me basically he would never work with me again. I tried to point out how it was more than two months away; he would not listen. He clearly took it personally, even though I love his club and have supported it for years. As a former booker myself, I know how hard it is when someone cancels, but in this situation, it was not last minute and I would never fault an artist for taking a huge opportunity. I tried to explain like “What if I got a late night spot on the Tonight Show and had to cancel, would that be okay?” and he was not having any of it. I know that I am professional and I handled the conversation calmly and with reason but the owner was so emotionally charged. I am lucky to have personal experience in the entertainment industry (my prior life as an Artist Manager and lawyer) to know I did nothing wrong but I know younger comedians don't have that. I thought about all the times I told my legal clients to wait 24 hours before responding to something to avoid letting your emotions navigate the conversation. In the end, I made the right decision and handled the difficult call the best I could. Hopefully, I can be back at the club but I won’t hold my breath. Hope to see you in Denver, Dallas, Tulsa and Sarasota this month and at the Improv on October 3rd. #standup #careerchange #formerlawyer #artistmanagement As a creator and producer, I often have to employ third parties to assist me with tasks like filming or editing and also sometimes need other comedians to be on a show. Lately I have noticed a trend of non-response. I had someone working with me somewhat consistently for nearly six months who just simply stopped responding to scheduling texts and emails. Similarly, I had sent out a few offers for shows I was producing to comedians who also just never responded, even when asked for a response within a certain time frame. In the dating world, it's called "ghosting" and it's becoming more and more acceptable in the professional world. It shouldn't be.
I believe, unless the situation or person is toxic or the contact is abusive or offensive , there is absolutely no reason not to respond to someone in a business setting. The limited level of energy to response with a "no thank you" or "I can't do this work anymore. Sorry" should be mandatory. Perhaps they are worried about a confrontation or are too fragile to seal with conflict. While in some situations, it could be a waste of time to even respond, it is frustrating to people and job creators who are trying to grow, professionally and maybe personally. I know this has become accepted with Gen Z and it shouldn't be. Being able to communicate with others, even if you don't "want" to seems like something we all should be able to do. Perhaps you don't agree with someone or no longer enjoy the person or the setting, but an explanation goes a long way towards helping the person, and maybe yourself. Maybe you read the situation wrong or the offer you thought was "so offensive" actually was missing a "0"). Who knows. You can't be too busy to draft a response. If you can't communicate this to others, you are doing yourself and others a disservice in the long run. #standup #genz #growth |
AuthorPaul Farahvar is a comedian hailing from Chicago, Ill. Archives
August 2024
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